Reflection by the river

I am sitting by the Danube river. At the eastern bank looking over to the Citadella on the mountain.

It is sunday morning, 10am. I got up early today, seems like I am developing some kind of a morning insomnia. Not too bad today, got up two hours ago. Considering that this is the end of the JCI European Conference 2009, with partying and dancing all nights, and trainings and meetings all day, I expected to sleep in today.

Not so. I have spent the morning running the streets of Budapest, taking in the smells, sounds, heat and light. Just running on random, no target or destination to reach. Feeling my body is working lightly, the breath is easy and my legs enjoying the run.

In the immense heat (at least to a Norwegian), I run slowly, and deside to take a break in the shadows on the east bank of the river Danube. Sitting here, I start reflecting on life, love and the conference that now is over.

When arriving here, I had a number of expectations. I wanted to spend time with the girl I love, that live in a different country. I expected to have fun and dance at parties, meet my friends from all over the world, make new friends. And I expected great results from the two trainings I conducted here.

As with life, where some expectations come through and others not, so is the case of my expectations to this conference.

I had wonderful trainings - both according to my own critical sense, and accordning to the participants. I met again some of my very best friends, friends who are so busy I hardly ever meet them. I met new people who some I believe will turn into nice friends. I met some extraordinary people, with great life experiences, fascinating stories to tell, and life philosophies that really make you realize how spectacular life can be.

As in life, there where also disapointments. One person that I really looked forward to meet, turned out to be self centered to such an extent that it started to amuse me. Several people offered feedback to her, and she would simply refuse to have it. To me she said "is it positive or negative?" I was set aback by her question, and her defense. I wanted to tell her that feedback is offered as a service, it is not an obligation. That the purpose of feedback is to help her, not to reduce her. Short version - she did not want mine, nor others, feedback.
This kind of disappointment merely amuses me.

More important was the fact that the woman I love did not want to see me at all. I knew she would be busy, but we can all make a small effort to embrace the ones we care about. I believe that when you care for someone, you will make room - if only a little - to encourage, support and embrace the life of the other. To help energize, inspire and motivate him or her to achieve their ultimate life goal.

It can be as simple as a txt message, a hug and a smile, a dance with your partner. We can all find time for this in our lifes. I guess it all comes down to if the other person is you significant other or not. If it is, these small efforts in your day is no longer a matter of priorities and duty, it becomes the joy of life both to give and to recieve.

It is getting chilly by the Danube river. A wind from North is cooling down the air, making it too cold to sit still in the shadow. Like the world keeps turning after immense disasters, life goes on even when your heart break. I am grateful that I am able to fill my life with love.

Just as I am grateful that my legs are able to carry me further towards my life goal.

--------------- Edit:

The fact that my love did not have time to do these things does not mean that we do not communicate - it was just my disapointment at the time of resting by the bank of the Danube River. Life is still fine, and so are we...

---------------- /edit

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