What motivates you?

What motivates you? This question churns in my head as I force one foot before the other. My mouth is dry. My arms are stiff, almost locked up completely, and bent at 80 degrees by my elbow. Hands almost closed as if I am clutching a staff in my hand, softly yet firm. My legs are still moving. One step at the time, keeping the rhythm.

I run.

There is a distinct pain in my right side, just behind my lung. Is my lung collapsing? Nay, it must be the accident I had some years ago, the accident that almost broke my back. Perhaps running is not good for my body? After all, I experience pain in all sorts, forms and locations I no longer remembered I had. Is it time to stop now? Should I just suck it up and walk back home?

Nay.

Again, Nay.

The pain will go away. It is simply a temporary distraction trying to get me to loose sight of my target. I force my brain to change focus.

What motivates you?

In my mind, I envision running half a marathon. 21 km. A long distance. Only six months ago, I had never, ever run longer than three km’s. And even then, I ran slowly, and would walk instead of running as soon as no-one looked. I simply never saw the point in running.

One year ago, I decided that it was time to get out of the couch, and get my body back into shape. I went to a nearby gym, and started working out twice a week. Spinning, strength and coordination where my focus. I only wanted to get in what I considered “good enough” shape to live a good quality life. I did not care about building muscles, and I did not care about the fact that I was the only male in the class. Nor did I care about the fact that I spend almost six months before I where able to follow the ladies in their intricate jump-dance-step-bend-stretch movements at high speed. It was a challenge, and I simply love challenges.

After these six months of working out, I noticed a dramatic change in my moods, in my physical conditions and in my well being. When I then moved from this place, I decided that I wanted to keep up working out, but not at a gym. I bought sneakers, and started with the sport I so dreaded. I started running.

I keep telling myself that I love it. I tell others I love it. And I know all the time that this is a lie. I simply hate running. It is so boring, it is like being in a void. And I know it. I know exactly how I feel about running.

But more importantly, I know what running does to my body and my health – physically and mentally. And that is what keeps me running!

When I took up running, I figured it a cheap way to stay fit even when I travel as much as I do. All I need is a shorts, the sneakers and my iPod Nano with some great music on. And I saved a bundle by no longer being a member of a gym I no longer had the time to visit on a regular basis.

As with all amateurs, I started out way too hard, with a circle of eight kilometers. I had no idea how far it was, all I knew was that I wanted a real workout when I first took the time to do it. A ten minute run around the bloc did not do it for me, way too much hassle, I decided.  

The first run, I ran a few hundred meters, then I had to walk. I regained my breath, and could run a bit again. In less than one-third of the circuit, I was dead, my lower legs so stiff I could hardly move them, and I had to force myself to walk the reminder of the circuit. And I did. A few months later, I ran half the circuit before I had to walk. And four months in, I where able to run the full circuit. Not at a high speed, but speed where never my goal.

At this point, I decided that I would attend a ten km run in 2010. And a few days later, I was asked if I would like to join the Oslo Marathon in 2009. I realized that they had a 10 km circuit available, and that the Marathon takes place late in September. A long, long time ahead when still in April. I said yes, I will join.

A week later, I ran my circuit, and this time I used my GPS to track the distance, for the first time finding out how long I run. Surprised that I already are able to run eight km’s, I announce that I will run a half-marathon at the Oslo Marathon in September. After all, running eight km once a week in April, I should be able to run 21 in September. Right? Right. Right!

What motivates you? I focus on this question when I force one leg in front of the other. I can feel my body is getting used to running. I know I can run 12-14 km in hilly forests and survive. I know my body is changing, evolving and tuning itself. I know my physical condition is good enough to complete today’s course.

I envision my goal of running along the sea of Oslo, seeing the finish line. Approaching the finish line, feeling the power of my body carrying me one more step ahead. And one more step. Feeling the pain in body parts I never new about. And moving one more step. Feeling the tarmac under my shoes as I move on. And on. What motivates you? One more step.  

As I cross the finish line, I fall over, black out and grasp for air. I smile. I feel euphoric. Knowing that I have reached my goal, a goal I never dared dream about one year earlier. A goal that changed my life and that will continue to do so as I advance to new challenges.

What motivates you? Please share your own experiences!

(Picture from http://www.expressnightout.com)